Saturday, April 28, 2007

Fear of holes...

1) If I hear one more thing about Global Warming, I'm going to leasetrade.com and trading my Volvo lease for a Hummer. Climate change is not new. It's a little self-centered to think that it can be stopped. Shut up Sheryl Crow and Laurie David! Love that you're so in touch with the probably middle-class college population that can afford hybrid cars. What planet are you living on? Although, I would've been supportive of you smearing your one square in Rove's face.

2) I know it's not real, but I am still haunted and a little obsessed about the mass e-mailing of the boob superimposed with the lotus seed pod. You can see it on Snopes.com if you do a search under "breast rash." It's like a train wreck, I just can't look away, but I've been threatened that we're going to have netnanny software installed because B is tired of hearing me go "ewwwww" and sending it to people so that I can go "ewwww" on the phone with them. Besides a fear of zombies, I have a fear of holes in things where there shouldn't be holes. I'm not talking piercings or anyhthing like that, but holes in boobs that are either semi-filled with what looks like worms or left empty and dark because there were once worms there freak me out. I'm sure there's a name for it.

3) Looks like we'll be CA residents for a while, can't afford a house here, but we'll be here. I'm trading personal care for chocolate and I can't wait. No more babysitting. No more explaining the point of the exchange of work for pay. No more showing people how to turn on a computer, or telling grown adults that they need to get along with each other and learn to share tools or papertowels or whatever, or that they need to find a notebook or place to keep their passwords so that I don't have to stay on the phone with IT for an hour trying to unlock their locked accounts so that they can do said day's work only to get locked out several weeks later. No more hearing that I'm a racist against my own race because I asked someone to do their job and they're unhappy about that. Better yet, no more hearing that I'm a Kentucky racist against my own race because you know how they are. No more of hearing from management that after having been called a racist by someone "who is just two paychecks shy of homeless crazy" with paranoid delusions who seems to have a history of "issues" with others, that I should just continue being my same old "sweet self" and act as though nothing happened so as not to insult the person who called me a racist although the same crazy person asked that I keep them in mind for a job at my new place...yeah, I'll get right on that. No more being asked by managers, "how was your weekend, have you made it up to Big Bear yet?" when you know that I've spent most of my weekends at work.

I may even get a scooter to make the new 8 mile commute vs the 28 mile one. It should fit in the space with my Hummer just fine. I think I will celebrate the new position by burning my steel-toed shoes. Let's be honest, I don't hike and I don't build things. It'll be odd having to plan a wardrobe again, but I like being able to wear my "cute clothes" again instead of pulling on one of many black-hoodies and jeans everyday. I don't know if I'll even be able to wear the hoodies again. I may have to burn those too.

4) I love having a dog. He's still alive--4 months with us and counting!!!! He graduatess puppy school tomorrow and I won't be there to see it because I have to make one last trip for my current job, but I know he'll do well. Hopefully he will avoid pooping on the floor of the Petsmart this time, but that's why they have OOPS! stations in every aisle.

5) I am really 2 episodes away from giving up on Lost, but like the lotus seed boob, I can't stop watching.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Meh...

I had this whole thing about going home for the holidays and seeing people and memories good and bad and nostalgia planned, but seeing as how I've been filling out my annual review form for the last two days only to find that we now have an extended deadline and I could've been using that vacation time for X-mas shopping or sleeping or whatever that doesn't have to do with work, I just didn't have it in me...

Just a few thoughts:

1. Edward Scissorhands is now a musical...Why?

2. If you are leaving someplace cold for someplace warm, it's advisable to wear pants. I'm not adjusting the a/c for my allotted 22" on the plane just because your dumb ass decided to wear shorts. Also, separate incident, but a scarf, fur-trimmed uggs with pom poms, a tank top, and hot pink short-shorts is not a good look. It makes you look confused.

3. Dove ice cream bars and Shasta Tiki punch will be my undoing.

4. I can forgive Michael Richards for the expletives. The entertainment value of the meltdown alone made up for it for me, but I can't forgive him for teaming up with Jesse Jackson. That's just wrong.